Prologue -1st draft

Prologue

“This one has just become available” the estate agent said with a slightly too eager tone

Ruby wondered if this time this was the “one” – it looked reasonable from the outside, an end of terrace travel agency with charming Charles Dickens bay type windows, but then again the others looked passable from the outside as well- still it looked promising. She and Penny have been in search for months and the places they viewed never lived up to their expectations.

Ruby pushed her blonde hair out of her face and looked at the detail sheet that she printed off the night before for the seventeenth time- unfortunately it had no pictures but it was the location that caught her eye. It took a while to persuade Penny to view it as she never trusted property’s that had no pictures, as if the landlord had something to hide.

Ruby phoned the estate agent the next morning to get this viewing as she knew Penny had to pick up Lucy from primary school that afternoon.

They walked down the forecourt following the lady into the shop entrance. It already lived up to its promise. Ruby stood amazed at what spacious area was before her eyes- two pillars stand in the middle of the room and it was large enough for 3-4 desks and a table. She was starting to imagine what it would look like- their idea becoming reality.

“As you can see there’s not much work to be done” Terri said worryingly

Terri knew the two ladies for months now where she showed them perfectly nice places, starts to show them around and after a few minutes they refuse to see anymore. She just wanted a sale- being new to the job she wanted her colleagues to stop teasing her.  So fair enough the last one did have some issues with location and the one before was slightly on the small side.

“It has been recently decorated and new floors put in” she pushed further when seeing them grin.

White crisp walls and polished wooden floorboards – clean and classic look Ruby thought, not like the first place they viewed, bright orange!

All three ladies walked through the main area into the corridor that led onto the kitchen, noting that it was part furnished, a reasonably sized storage area and a small bathroom.

Terri glanced at her watch.

Ruby asked if they could have a moment- and smiled as she noticed the amazed expression on Terri’s face when she asked this and chuckled to herself when she saw the not so sly watch glancing.

Ruby turned to Penny

“What you think pen?”

“Love it- and you?” she replied

“I can see us in this place; it’s the best one we have seen”

Moments later they shocked Terri even more by saying that they will take it.

Paperwork was handed over in an instant while arranging when to go over the contracts and collecting of the keys

Locking up behind her both Penny and Ruby got out their diaries and noted that in two days they were to go to see Terri in the morning

“We can go before the interviews- which is at 12pm at the coffee shop” Penny mentioned.

Ruby completely forgot about that- good job she carried a diary she thought, it was her life!

Then they all shock hands and Ruby watched Terri get into her company car.

The start of the fairygodmothers events agency had begun………

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4 Responses to Prologue -1st draft

  1. Mayumi-H says:

    I like this intro, Jenny. It gives a substantial foundation for the characters, and leads the reader into what’s to come. There are a couple of issues of verb tenses, but that’s almost to be expected in a first draft. More importantly, I like the dynamic between Penny and Ruby. They seem like interesting, excited young ladies with a dream. How will they fare, I wonder?

  2. Lauren Vail says:

    Other, than a few misspellings, I think it’s good! I really like the thought of it, but it got a bit confusing in some parts. I wasn’t sure who was doing what. I think if you go a little more slowly with it, and work out the characters more, it will be a great story! 😀 I really like the concept of it. ^_^ Hope this helped!

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